What makes a good kisser?

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Valentine’s Day is upon us so couples all over the world are anticipating the gusto. On this day lovers of all kind, gift each other with bouquets of fresh flowers, vacations to The Hamptons and Bora Bora, milk baths, champagne, foot rubs and exotic dinners, all to have “wild” sex. If I didn’t know better, I’d say the Romans have us beat and that Saint Valentine is the pretty flying cherub making cameos on our V-Day stationery. I just craved spaghetti and meatballs from Terni, Italy. Look at that magic.

In any event, I couldn’t help but wonder: If kissing is a big deal — especially for women in relationships — this would be the best time to try to understand the reasoning. What makes a good kisser? Is it the size of their lips? Is it the amount of spit used when you’re in the moment? Is it a fresh breath? I’ve asked 10 people for their feedback on what makes the best kiss, what was their worst kiss and how did it make them feel, and this is what they had to say, starting with me.


What was the best kiss you’ve had?

Me: I think my best kiss comes from the lips of my first crush. In all fairness to my memory and the other guys I’ve kissed, their kisses were better but I think the innocence of moment is the real reason.

India: The best kiss I had was with my first real boyfriend. This was around my 10th grade year, if I am not mistaken. My first time kissing him was before he left my home one day. We were in the garage.

Sicarah: The best kiss I had was after I had a conversation with my boyfriend. We talked about how much we loved each other. It was emotional and sweet. Our lips touched gently and my eyes were closed.

Jazzlyn: The best kiss I ever had… The crush of about a year was attending the same “Singles” Valentine’s Day party as I was and I remember walking to the restroom and someone walked in behind me and closed the door (I’m cheesing super hard thinking about this by the way). He then pushed me up against the wall and gave me the kiss of a lifetime. Everything about it was perfect.

Rahj: I can’t remember a singular “best” kiss scenario nor with whom it was with. Does that make me a thot? LOL

Tania: The best kiss I’ve had was when I spent hours talking about music. Laid up next to him, not caring about the time or what day it was. We finished each other’s lyrics, and automatically looked into each other’s eyes and kissed.

Anon1: The best kiss I’ve had was on the first date, with the one person I fell deeply in love with. There was just a different connection and rush that I felt when it happened. As corny as it sounds, it felt enchanting and kind of “out of body”.

Anon2: What’s crazy is whereabout it happened. I was at a strip club with some friends — on ten — all that and about to head out. I had just put my number in this girl’s phone. Looked up, locked eyes and was approached but a breathtakingly stunning woman. Who took me and kissed me.

Anon3: That’s hard. I thought one person had given me the best kiss but when I think about it, they have since had competition. Each person in your life should try to out-kiss the last person.

Anon4: Hmmm… the best kiss I’ve had almost always has tongue involved… no tongue no fun. There are others that are not sexy but sweet, like a kiss on the forehead…

Anon5: I’ve met a few great kissers in my time, however best kiss I’ve had, maybe because it was on my bucket list, would be the one from the boy next door… ten years after he was my first kiss.


What made the kiss so good?

Me: It wasn’t expected. We were at his cousin’s house, and suddenly we were under pressure — to kiss.

India: His juicy lips wrapped around mine, just marinating me. Thank goodness he wasn’t spitting in my mouth. He was a seasoned kisser.

Sicarah: It was good because it was an emotional connection that brought us together.

Jazzlyn: Apart from the fact that he was my crush and it was a Valentine’s Day party, he was very sure of what he was doing. I liked the way he gave me a nice long hard kiss then, he gave me a minute to regain my composure. Then, he came back in for some more.

Rahj: The best kisses in general are usually from / with those with nice, soft, sweet, full lips and also cool. Refreshing breath saves the day as well.

Tania: What made the kiss good was the connection we had towards each other and he was FYNE. Not just ‘FINE’ lol

Anon1: Well first off, we are both good kissers… lol. He knew how to kiss me and take his time. It was perfect. And sometimes, you can show someone how you feel about them through a kiss and that’s what I felt from him. Even though we hardly knew each other, I just knew we already had something special.

Anon2: Ooowee, she took the kiss (took my breath away too). That’s what did it for me. She grabbed my face gently and kissed me. I usually am the one to do so. That’s my M.O, so to have that done to me… I can see and understand as to why I liked it (no one since has done so).

Anon3: Good kisses are made by breathing deeply and also following the other person’s lips. It’s really about micro-movements. The more attention you pay the person you are kissing, the better the kiss is.

Anon4: Tongue makes a kiss great. Chemistry makes it even better. I’m a fan of playful kisses, tiny bites on your partners lower lip lol

Anon5: Two things: One, it was great to see the improvement in skill over a 10-year period. Two, there was a seamlessly perfect balance between the kiss being to soft and almost aggressive.


What did the kiss feel like?

Me: His lips were really soft, and closed. No tongue. I was like 13.

India: This was the first time I have ever gotten wet from kissing someone. Yes, he made me wet. It was funny because I didn’t know what was going on at the time. I just knew it felt right.

Sicarah: Liberating because it gave me chills.

Jazzlyn: The beginning of the kiss was pretty intense; his mouth was on my mouth, pressing pretty hard. Then, he softened the pressure by stepping back and then coming in with a little tongue action. That took the kiss from harsh to soft, yet demanding in a good way.

Rahj: Best kisses feel bliss. Best kisses take you away. Best kisses not only turn you on but they literally make you smile and leave you breathless.

Tania: The kiss was soft and gentle with invisible fireworks.

Anon1: Soft, sensual, warm.

Anon2: I know I’m going to sound like Cornball McGee, but magical. There was a spark as we kissed and we both touched our lips after the fact, and smiled at each other.

Anon3: Not sure I remember but with a good kiss, you can feel lil fluttery butterflies in your stomach.

Anon4: What did it feel like? I guess warm and wet… lol

Anon5: It was tender, something a bit more cherished. It wasn’t empty, feeling less.


Was there a lot of spit?

Me: None.

Sicarah: No. I don’t like spit when kissing.

Jazzlyn: I don’t remember there being a lot of spit but spit was definitely involved. The first breath after the tongue kiss left a little spit on my lip, which he wiped off with his thumb, so cute ^.^

Rahj: Lots of spit.. not the best. There should be balance. If spit overload does occur it’s always cuter to take that moment in pause to clean things up a bit. LOL Some form of a suction tool suggested to those with a gross amount of excess spit? LOL

Tania: No spit but it was juicy. Ya feel me.

Anon1: No, I don’t think so. It wasn’t one of those wet and sloppy kisses. It was enough for us to feel moisturized… lol.

Anon2: There was spit but not a lot… it was just right. Like not unbearable or anything. That’s why it was so good.

Anon3: No ew. Not a fan of extra spittle and extra wet kisses.

Anon4: I don’t think I’ve ever had a bad kiss actually but I’ve seen other people have bad kisses lol… a bad kiss is when the guy tries to swallow your face, like his lips are huge and on the woman’s face and cheeks, and she looks like she can’t breathe or is drowning. I don’t know, I’ve never had a kiss like that. It looks gross but maybe the couple [of] times I’ve seen it happen the woman loved it! shrugs

Anon5: No not at all, but that doesn’t tend to be a problem with slight cotton mouth.


What’s the worst kiss you’ve had? Tell me why it was so bad?

Me: It wasn’t really a “mutual” kiss. For some reason, this guy decided to steal one from me. He missed my entire mouth, kissed my face, and my left cheek started to swell. I think my body was trying to fight him off, like a f-cking antibiotic.

India: The worst kiss I experienced was with a guy I was talking to in my freshman year of college. Just thinking about it makes me frown. This guy had the nerve to kiss me when his breath was so rank, I’m talking demons dancing on his tongue rank. It was that bad. After he kissed me I looked at him and asked if he threw up, he said no.

Sicarah: The worst kiss I had was when I kissed a guy I was talking to, and I swallowed a lot of his spit. I don’t like spit so it was terrible for me.

Jazzlyn: Oh boy, where do I begin? Worst kiss ever was from an ex of mine who thought a kiss meant trying to stick his tongue as far down my throat as possible. The kisses were so horrible that kissing was not a part of our relationship. It just wasn’t a thing. The reason these types of kisses were so horrible is because, to me, a kiss is supposed to be something BOTH people involved are participating in. This kiss just left me with my mouth wide-open breathing through my nose, little to no lips involved. Stop playing with my tonsils. I want to feel good, not get a checkup -_-

Rahj: First things I can think of that make for a bad kiss? Bad breath for one. Dry lips. I know I was bitching about spit before but also… lack of spit? Hmmm… and plainly if they’re just messy, moving they’re lips under the impression that they’re grazing some kind of monumental passionate kiss. Yuck. Although I say bad breath / dry lips… Haven’t really experienced it. Anything you can spot that can lead to a bad kiss should be put to halt and kissing reevaluation should be immediately put into order. ROFL

Tania: The worst kiss I had was when this guy threw me on the couch and I thought that we were going to get it on and poppin’. As I lay there I saw this guy getting closer and closer in slow motion. A part of me was mesmerized by his beard but the other part was horrified on getting body slammed. Then he lands on top of me and he starts kissing my ‘face’ not my lips but my face. Slowly started drooling and kissing my lips, in which at this point I was over it. I was tired of Chewbacca trying to slobber and chew off my entire face. If a 6’3 buff beard guy pretends to be Chewbacca in a making out session you need to cut it off. We were not even auditioning for Star Wars and he obviously did not know I was Princess Leia. So by far this has been my worst kiss and I hope he is reading this right now: THE SHADE BOO, CARRY ON!

Anon1: The worst was a couple years back, a little bit before my best kiss came along. It was just horrible. He didn’t know what he was doing. His mouth was open way too wide and was like swallowing my entire mouth. He didn’t know how to work with me; it felt like an attack instead of a mutual experience. There was way too much spit and tongue. It was just gross. No technique or skill… he just went in for the kill. Lol.

Anon2: Eh. It’s been a lot of them… These girls can’t kiss and IT PISSES ME OFF! I always test girls now. I give them three chances (I go for the kiss first; Let take the second and if I feel like a good ⅔, I’ll give it a go one last time). But the girls recently give too fucking much tongue and spit… eyes be open… Fuck ya eyes open for, that’s creepy. Don’t be a creep. Ew. Total turn-off.

Anon3: Any kiss where someone just rushes their face onto your face and presses too hard is a bad one. No forced face!

Anon4: My worst kiss was definitely my first kiss. He was a friend of my friends older brother… I went to meet my friend on morning because we usually traveled to school together, he was standing in there driveway and called me over, I thought to tell me something. Before I knew it his mouth was all over my face. I was traumatized after that… I think I blocked it out after all these years.

Anon5: Worst kiss ever would definitely have to be the guy who practically mouth-open-wide kissed me and then proceeded to try to play my tonsils like the bongos with his tongue. In some situations that would be raw talent; but I was left dazed and confused as to why I wasn’t provided with a bib to wipe up all the slobber under my bottom lip (that didn’t belong to me).


And last but not least, my assistant Zuri shared her personal views:

This is tough for me. I hate kissing! I tried not to be too ridiculous though. I love small pecks on the lips. I like the “see you when I get off” kisses. You know, the kisses that say, “I love that dress,” or “thanks for getting my oil changed.” They might not be as memorable as the first kiss, but I prefer them to the feeling of a goldfish wiggling around in my mouth. Sure a long passionate kiss with Ryan Gosling or Leo DiCaprio seems romantic, but there’s no reason for “bae” to be in my personal space for more than 60 seconds. Does that make me weird?


What’s in a good kiss?


GrungeCake

GRUNGECAKE